


If I Could Tell You

by GooseJacket



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, But Connor to Evan, Connor is a loving brother, I can't swear so Connor doesn't, I promise it's not just the song, If I Could Tell Her, M/M, Oneshot, Orchard Scene, Perfect Afternoon, Prolly accidently OOC, Songfic, Tell your sib you love them after reading this, There's some plot too, They're Gayyy, Treebros, connor's pov, for forever, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 03:24:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16778638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GooseJacket/pseuds/GooseJacket
Summary: Connor needs some advice about what to do with Zoe, so Evan advises he pretends he's Zoe.Awkwardness and "If I could tell her" insuresBasically a songfic





	If I Could Tell You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is my first story, so if it's terrible, sorry not sorry :)  
> Also so sorry if the characters are OOC

Connor isn’t sure why he brought Hansen to the orchard--his orchard.

Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, his mouth inviting Hansen before a second thought.

Maybe because of how pitiful the boy looked; he didn’t even have any names on his cast before Connor for heck’s sake.

Well, no matter what the cause, the boy sat next to him in the field, rambling about trees or something.

Connor sat facing Hansen, studying him and nodding along to the “forest expertise”.

Hansen wasn’t ugly, Connor would give him that. His freckles danced across his face as he grinned and gestured to the trees. The light weaved through his blond hair like strands of gold. Okay, Hansen _was_ attractive. Whatever. That doesn’t mean anything to Connor.

Realizing that Connor was watching him, Hansen started stuttering out apologies for rambling.

“Wha-no, Hansen, really it’s fine.” He stood abruptly and stuck out his hand to help Hansen up. “How ‘bout we play a game?” he asked.

Hansen looked at him cautiously.

“W-What kind o-of game?” he asked as Connor helped him up. Huh. His stutter’s back.

“I try to find a plant you don’t know the name of.”

“G-Game o-on,” Hansen chuckled. Connor almost grinned as he ran toward the trees, dragging Hansen along.

His thoughts raced as he did--oh my gosh I’m holding Hansen’s hand I’m so gay--wait, Did… Connor have a thing for Hansen? Connor shook the thought away--that was a dilemma for Future Connor.

Connor ran to the nearest weird tree he found. Without missing a beat Hansen responded, “Willow. E-Easy.”

“For you maybe,” Connor smirked. As he looked around for another plant, he realized he was still holding Hansen's hand. He dropped it and looked around for another plant to hide his probably red face. Connor pointed to a cluster of white flowers near the base of the tree. “Those?”

“Daisies.” Hansen dropped to the ground and started picking some of the flowers. “Y-You make ch-chains out of them.

“Chains?” Connor asked, confused.

After a few moments, he held up two flower chains triumphantly. “See? C-Chains!”

Connor plopped one of the chains on his head. He crowned Hansen with the other.

Hansen’s cheeks went pink, and--oh, he’s _cute_. Connor suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about how unfairly cute this boy was.

Hansen looked down awkwardly, and Connor realized he was staring at the blond. He immediately pointed to a bush, asking what it was.

They walked a while, and the conversation changed from plants to life, and...other stuff.

Connor started talking about how much he missed his sister, Zoe.

“I love her, I do, it’s just that we’re like… freaking strangers or something, you know?”

Hansen nodded. “Uh, why don’t you like tell me about her or nevermindit’sastupididea--”

“Woah, Hansen, it’s alright. Um, but…” Connor looked away embarrassed. "I don’t know where I would even start…”

“Just…” A blush crept up onto Hansen’s face. “P-Pretend I’m her.”

Connor looked at Hansen. There were some similarities between the two. He could make this work. “Um, okay…”

He said, “There’s nothing like, um, your smile, sort of subtle, and… perfect… and real.” Hansen’s face turned red.

Connor said, “You never knew how...wonderful...that smile could make someone feel..”

“Whenever you get bored you scribble stars on your ca---I MEAN UH--jeans…” He slipped up, but Hansen didn’t react, he was still staring off at the trees with a blush on his face.

“And, uh, I’m impressed with all of your random expertise…” Hansen turned to him, wide-eyed.

“But I keep it all inside my head, what I see, I leave unsaid... And though I want to, I just can’t _talk_ to you, I can’t find a way… I will always say…

“If I could tell you, tell you everything I see, if I could tell you, how you’re _everything_ to me…” Connor felt his face burn and saw Hansen was reddening too. “But we're a million worlds apart…And I don't know how I would even start...

“If I could tell you...If I could...”

“Is there anything else?” Hansen asked breathlessly.

Connor snapped out of the slight trance he was in. “Oh, about Zoe?” Hansen’s face fell.

“Ohnonevermindyoudon’thavetotalkaboutit--”

“Nononono um… I’m just trying to think, um...” Connor cleared his throat and said the first thing that came to mind.

He said, “It looks really pretty, I MEAN UM, it looks pretty cool when you put flowers in your hair…”

“You think?” Hansen asked. Both boys chuckled nervously before Connor continued.

“And I admire how you ramble when you forget, and the world isn’t there…

“But I keep it all inside my head, what I see, I leave unsaid--

“If I could tell you, tell you everything I see. If I could tell you, how you’re _everything_ to me…

“But we’re a million worlds apart…and I dunno how I would even start…

“If I could tell you...If I could tell you! But what do you do, when there’s this great divide…”

“You two seem so far away…” Hansen mumbled.

“And what do you do when the distance is too wide--”

“It’s like I dunno anything”

“And how do you say? I love you--” Both of the boys turned beet red “--I love you, I love you! I love you!

“But we’re a million worlds apart…and I dunno how I would even start…

“If I could tell you…If I could…”

And then, without thinking, in the same state of mind as when he invited Hansen--no, _Evan_ \--to the orchard--

Connor kissed Evan.

But more surprisingly? Evan, albeit surprised, kissed _back._

~

Later that day, Zoe confronted Connor in when he got home about where he had been all day.

Connor remembered all the nice things he’d said about Zoe. Well, they were about Evan, but they applied to Zoe too.

“I was having the time of my life with my best friend.” He said, shocking Zoe enough to let him pass. He paused in the doorway of his room. “And Zoe? I love you, sis.”

He left Zoe speechless.

**Author's Note:**

> Mkay so y'all know the drill: I don't own anything but the idea of the plot
> 
> Hate it? Drop a comment below.  
> Love it? Drop a comment below.  
> Just wanna spam memes? Drop a comment below.


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